Do you really know yourself?

       That is interesting question. Do you really have an answer? Dig deep for this one? Look at what is your normal day in day out routine? Have you met goals you set 20 years ago?

     

        What is your true answer? For me it is NO. I have not met every goal I set for myself. Many of you will look and say the circumstances changed, Agreed. you are a different person now then 20 years ago. Now it is taking care of your family. Watching your kids grow and make choices that they think is new, HAHAHAHA. Now deep down am I the rebel I thought I was. Nope I am father of four children. These children are about as different you can be. My kids are my everything, The days I wake up and the pain is too bad. I get up shower and keep going because my kids might need me. On this day my Oldest needed me, she forgot something. When I was in high school I want to be a drafter/architect I did not reach that goal. I found that I was far better on my feet and working with my hands. I was great at math on the go. As I progressed through life I was always striving to be the best I can be. Now sometimes I do regret leaving a certain job or employer. I have always moved on. Now having no job the last six years because of health. I have learned about taking car of myself and my children. My dear wife, moved into the role I once Occupied and that was the Bread maker, Bringing home the bacon. 

       Now i am going to tell you I failed as a homemaker, but I have become a better father then ever before. I missed so much out on the road as a driver, But we had an understanding that was a great way to be a provider for my wife and children. I made decent money as a driver, but I worked hard for it. Being a driver is not for the faint of heart. During the first few years you are out on the road going broke. Just trying to keep your head above water. A motto for truckers is "hurry up and wait" During my time on the road it was a great economy and it was loads for all. You take and drive, You figure out trip, where to stop for your breaks and where to shower all on the go. I took that into the office for Andrus Transportation in Salt Lake City. I started there as a Local Driver working up to fourteen hours in a day. I remember most everyone I worked with. After a little bit I moved into Night Dispatch and then into Load Planner. I loved that job, but was blinded by the greenbacks. I left going to run team for another company. That didn't last long, Partner and I had different views on how to run. How to earn a living. I then left that company and moved onto Lease operator. I worked hard until I woke up with a migraine from HELL. 

        That leads me back to the point of becoming a Father. Has it been hard for my wife to be working and going to school, YES. Has it been worth it, YES. I am excited for what the future holds for us. Wife is working for a home-health company. She also takes care of me, Kids, and home duties that need to be done that I don't do. Now is our system fool-proof and easy to follow, Hell NO. We have are kids doing chores they do them every day that needs to be done. I make my kids work, I make my kids do their homework. Do they get rewarded, YES. That is my principle of parenting.

         Now many of you reading this may say " what do you to keep mind busy?" Well one thing is this Blog another I help a friend with his charity and do my best to keep that going, I will never ask him for anything in return. I love this guy just for him to understand me and see that I am useful is what I want. I just want to be treated normal. You only see me when I am feeling good. If I am not feeling well I'm in a darkroom. My kids know the signs of me not feeling well. Many people do not know what to day or do around me. Just treat me like anyone else and learn what signs I show and what they mean. I am the same as I was 20 years ago, just allot heavier and more hair on my face.

         I take pride that I am a father, my kids will know how to treat each other outside of the home. I may not be able to do what I use to do, but I am still me. Partying like an Osmond.

Thank you For reading

Mr. Crossrds

Welcome to the Other Side.

Now I kind of told you a little bit of my background. Since we have moved to Ephraim, UT. We moved here for Marie to continue her education at Snow College. She is working towards her RN lisences. She has put in tons of time to make mine and our kids life better. Now Ephraim is a interesting place. It is located in almost the Middle of the State of Utah. The valley is surrounded by tall mountains over 10,000 ft high. You Have the some of the best camping, Fishing, MX trails, and Off-roading in the state, Minus Moab, of Utah.
      I love it her, it does take a bit to get used to when you grew up in the greater Los Angeles area of southern California. My parents currently reside in the High Desert of California. That is subject to change as the are now retired and ready to leave a state that doesn't share their morals anymore. Lately the World say that we must accept everyone that is different, but the groups that we are to accept don't have to accept our beliefs. They call it equality and fairness. I am sorry, but if I must accept someone based on their beliefs why are can they not accept of my beliefs? 
       I respect everyone, I know no bias until you give me a reason to.
       Many things have been placed in our backpacks lately. I cry for a break but dont see one coming. We are currently living in the Willow Creek Inn here in Ephraim. On 8/13/13 our basement apartment was flooded by a 14 inch water main breaking and water rushing into our place at 11:30 at night. We awoke to water calf high water, The water broke the girls window and scared the poor girls allot. At 12:30 the next morning we had 32 people helping to get things out of the house. So grate full for the people of the town just showing up to pull out our stuff. We spent the next few days going through everything we had and deciding what would need to be replaced and what can be saved. 
       We are having a hard time finding a place for us to rent. I think we have found a place. It is a 3 bedroom and 2 bath. We feel blessed. We love how this town surrounded us with love and kindness. 
        We are blessed to still have each other. We can replace everything we lost, but the things that were saved were my Children. That is all the matters. I will talk next time about my best friend.

In an alternative life I am know as Cross, Or Crossrds

Yes I am aware of how it is spelled, In 2009 I created a PSN account. The name Crossrds comes form the very first song, Tha Crossroads, I can remember after getting a phone call telling my brother, Greg, was killed in a accident.

I wanted answers that no one could give. The night before I had a dream that was me riding a Motorcycle and hitting a car right on the side panel next to the a pillar of an older car. I spent the next few days in a dark cloud. I could not move and if I did I was not doing what was asked of me as a LDS missionary by any means. Few month later I returned home from the mission field. My mission President (man in charge) would not let me go home for the funeral. My bother was just older then me he was 23 and I was 21. We had written Sparsely throughout my time on his mission and mine. Pretty much i went through life lost from 1996 until summer of 1998.

That summer I met my, Love, My wife Marie. We met end of July 1996, My sister set us up. My sister Debby set Marie and I up. I knew in the first moment of talking with her that I wanted to Marie her. I even Proposed on the first phone call. We told her parents that we were going to get married on the 17th of October, Well that put allot on new in laws. It was not only 7 weeks away, but opening day of the Hunt.

October 17 came around and we headed to The Timpanogas Temple in American Fork, UT. We were sealed to time and eternity. 

We went through allot the first year of getting to know each other, Rumors flowed around her work were she was accused of being pregnant before we got married. I can tell you that it never happened. We had decided to not have children right away. We wanted to wait and be settled a bit before starting. Well that only worked as long as you didn't put a newborn in my hands. Our first child was born 12/31/99 a little over a year after we were married.

we have had 4 wonderful children, at times, Oldest is 13 youngest is 7. Each on makes us smile and I love being a Father.

We have been through allot as a family and as the days go by I will be posting up to try and keep things Chronological 

Thank You Mr. Crossrds