A good day to CRY!

A Good Day to Cry!

          Why is today a good day to cry? Well nothing in particulare in the date of February 25th 2014. You can say that it is six months to my birthday. Nothing comes to mind why one should cry, but any day is a good day to cry when it is warranted. Now I grew up and you were called a sissy or mama's boy if you were seen crying, Phrases like "walk it off" "no blood no pain". They were used with udder regularity one would think it was a laxative. I am not a scholar I am a guy going through life with a constant pain. My pain gets to the point that I can be seen crying.

         Why do I have this pain, I do not know. I wish I have been given answers, but my doctors are complex-ed into what is really going on. Now do I cry every day? HELL NO! I am a man of course there is some pride inside me. I cherish the days when my pain is just mild. I get about one per week. The rest of the time I am either in bed or on the couch.

         Tomorrow starts a new round of botox. Now this will not be a cure all more of a control, better and less addicting then Hydro. I am trying to get through and be a good father. That is my goal to be a good father. So as you lay down to night think of the things that should have gotten done that day. As you think of your children and loved one. Cry unto your Lord and he shall answer.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Living in Pain

Living in Pain.

     Someone has asked how is it to live in daily pain? Well that is not an easy question to answer. let me ask you how do you get through life's problems? My instance and circumstances are given to me because I can handle them. My problem is no worse then what you may be going through. I am saying this because I am told my health care problems are incurable. I will suffer from migraine's the rest of my life. My sister will live with her health problems rest of her life and so on and so on. I will try not to take anything away from your problem as you try not to take anything away from my situation. Sometimes as I post something on Face book, or Twitter I am just venting I just want you to listen, say your sorry and move on. I will do the same when you feel over whelmed. We will work together to help each other get through life. 

      I have many things and many stories that have made me into who I am this day. I was not always a goody - goody Mormon boy. High school was 20 years ago and many things have changed since then. I am married (at 23) I have four great kids, A dog, and a cat. I love to draw and I love to help people. I have a gift of speech. I can speak on the fly in front of any size crowd. You may have some of the same gifts as I do. I have an appreciation for everything and I will let a person use me once. That is all I can afford to allow people to walk over me. I will stop everything I am in the middle of and come to aid of family. I have two cousins (by blood). I have more but we have not been in contact for many years and some do not acknowledge me or my family. I have chronic migraine's I start Botox on the 26th and that will give me fewer and more "better" days in the future. I have a niece that will not accept an apology. If you have become a person I can trust and let me tell you of all my "sh!t" you will be in a small circle.

I am me and nothing can change that. I believe in God and the restoration of his church on this earth. I know that he will return and redeem this earth as his. We may all believe in something, but my Faith in Jesus Christ gets me through each day. 

Thank you For reading

Mr. Crossrds

Faith during a trail

Faith During a Trail.

         Faith - 1. Complete Trust or Confidence in someone or something.

                    2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather then proof.

 

          So when someone has a "trail" they automatically blame someone or something else. Why? Many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions. So first to survive a trail or tough time, You must look inward and see what is what. You could have a lack of faith in anything, You may not believe in God, But you may have lost faith in what moves you on a daily basis. For me and my family it is our faith in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father that moves us. 

          

           Many things have tested my faith in the short 38 years I have been on this Earth. From my own mistakes, to conditions I have no control over. My current "trail" is long term pain. I suffer from Chronic Migraine's it is a broad term, but it is all I can tell you. I am awaiting for Botox Treatment on the 26th of February. Now I have had Botox before, about 3 treatments. I stopped because it was very expensive co-pay. I stopped just before Christmas of 2012. It has been over a year since I have had them and it has been a terrible year. I have been in bed 4-5 days per week in bed. That alone has not helped me. I have been battling with depression since that time also. Luckily I found a Doctor that was willing to help and gave me Hydro. Now that was a band-aid over a gushing bleeder.

           

           This time I have found solace in my faith. We have been compared to Job and his family. We keep attending church meeting and try very hard to install a good belief system for my children. That is the most important thing for me to concentrate on, not becoming a CEO or even an employee. I am working on becoming a Father that my children and My father can be proud of. I work hard on that, Many people do not understand my infliction or situation, but they judge me nonetheless. I have heard the whispers and the rumors. It hurts. I would trade anyone for a bad day of work for a normal day of pain. I am not a lazy man I was not raised like that. I am a hard worker and have been since I was old enough to hold a broom at a construction site. My faith is for me and my family. We decide to believe in God and our Faith. I am not asking you to understand, but to respect that.

Keep n Keeping on

Mr. Crossrds

Looking for inspiration

Looking for Inspiration

         So I have long hair, not to long I can pull it in a pony tail, the sides are shaved so it is all on top. Today a friend of my wife was surprised to find out I had not tattoos. She figured I had them since I admire the art work. Now many people might think tattoos, music, or language. That you would not be able to find inspiration in those things. I think it is all how you look at things if you look at it to be negative then all you will see is the negatives. You look for the inspiration and you will find what maybe was the true message of the author. Now many things can be construed to what any individual wants it to be. Take scriptures for many years they were used to control and manipulate people that trusted their clergy. That led to a revolt for people to learn the truth. 

         We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.

         That is the eighth article of faith in the LDS faith. So we believe in the Holy scriptures as the Bible, Book of Mormon. That gives us two accounts of the teaching of Jesus Christ. Now i believe in Christ was a man far beyond "Jewish Carpenter Zombie". 

           As far as man controlling people through the faith of the people whom listen to the person. That has been done for thousands of years and still in use to this very day. A person that is not controlling will teach you and ask you to make up your own mind on what was taught. Not force it down ones throat or manipulate the teaching for one's personal devices and goals. I am a rebel at heart and I question everything that is put forth to me. I believe in Christ because I feel it is right and he is guiding his church as he did in old times through the Holy Ghost and inspiration to men called by God and set apart by the laying on of hands.

            I am not asking you to change I am asking you to love everyone for whom they are and not what they believe in or do. So please accept and love one another as he has loved us. Charity is the purest form of love on this planet as any human kind can partake in. So if you would like to be charitable please be charitable to your neighbor and your self.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds