Do you really know yourself?

       That is interesting question. Do you really have an answer? Dig deep for this one? Look at what is your normal day in day out routine? Have you met goals you set 20 years ago?

     

        What is your true answer? For me it is NO. I have not met every goal I set for myself. Many of you will look and say the circumstances changed, Agreed. you are a different person now then 20 years ago. Now it is taking care of your family. Watching your kids grow and make choices that they think is new, HAHAHAHA. Now deep down am I the rebel I thought I was. Nope I am father of four children. These children are about as different you can be. My kids are my everything, The days I wake up and the pain is too bad. I get up shower and keep going because my kids might need me. On this day my Oldest needed me, she forgot something. When I was in high school I want to be a drafter/architect I did not reach that goal. I found that I was far better on my feet and working with my hands. I was great at math on the go. As I progressed through life I was always striving to be the best I can be. Now sometimes I do regret leaving a certain job or employer. I have always moved on. Now having no job the last six years because of health. I have learned about taking car of myself and my children. My dear wife, moved into the role I once Occupied and that was the Bread maker, Bringing home the bacon. 

       Now i am going to tell you I failed as a homemaker, but I have become a better father then ever before. I missed so much out on the road as a driver, But we had an understanding that was a great way to be a provider for my wife and children. I made decent money as a driver, but I worked hard for it. Being a driver is not for the faint of heart. During the first few years you are out on the road going broke. Just trying to keep your head above water. A motto for truckers is "hurry up and wait" During my time on the road it was a great economy and it was loads for all. You take and drive, You figure out trip, where to stop for your breaks and where to shower all on the go. I took that into the office for Andrus Transportation in Salt Lake City. I started there as a Local Driver working up to fourteen hours in a day. I remember most everyone I worked with. After a little bit I moved into Night Dispatch and then into Load Planner. I loved that job, but was blinded by the greenbacks. I left going to run team for another company. That didn't last long, Partner and I had different views on how to run. How to earn a living. I then left that company and moved onto Lease operator. I worked hard until I woke up with a migraine from HELL. 

        That leads me back to the point of becoming a Father. Has it been hard for my wife to be working and going to school, YES. Has it been worth it, YES. I am excited for what the future holds for us. Wife is working for a home-health company. She also takes care of me, Kids, and home duties that need to be done that I don't do. Now is our system fool-proof and easy to follow, Hell NO. We have are kids doing chores they do them every day that needs to be done. I make my kids work, I make my kids do their homework. Do they get rewarded, YES. That is my principle of parenting.

         Now many of you reading this may say " what do you to keep mind busy?" Well one thing is this Blog another I help a friend with his charity and do my best to keep that going, I will never ask him for anything in return. I love this guy just for him to understand me and see that I am useful is what I want. I just want to be treated normal. You only see me when I am feeling good. If I am not feeling well I'm in a darkroom. My kids know the signs of me not feeling well. Many people do not know what to day or do around me. Just treat me like anyone else and learn what signs I show and what they mean. I am the same as I was 20 years ago, just allot heavier and more hair on my face.

         I take pride that I am a father, my kids will know how to treat each other outside of the home. I may not be able to do what I use to do, but I am still me. Partying like an Osmond.

Thank you For reading

Mr. Crossrds