Do you have what it takes to be You?

Do you have what it takes to be YOU?

      I asked that on Facebook the other day. It got a allot of like and I think people started to think about that question. Well I am going to reach down into my soul and ask myself that question. I think the answer is Maybe. How can I say maybe? Well I am a fragile human being on this earth. I will admit that I look to a few people and wonder "do they still like me?" I am not afraid of much in this mortal life I exist in. I can walk most heights, I can drive anything and everything if ask too, I can do anything that my mind think I can. I am confident in everything. I know more then I let on I know. I can tackle most things with a little work on my end. I enjoy building things and working with my hands. Why then do I hold back?

       Well I will tell you I hold back because people get offended by some words that come out of my mouth. I embarrass my children on a constant basis. I am a parent after all. I have voices in my head that tend to exaggerate the possibilities. I love myself and am willing to do what it takes to make things happen. I can negotiate everything. I remember skills I learned years ago. Being me also means a hard look at service. I love service and enjoyed it when I was able to serve other people. When I started having these migraines on almost daily basis I had to swallow allot of pride and allow people to serve  me. I know allot of people that get to that point is a hard transition. I am still having a hard time with my struggles of not being my "old" self.

        No one expects to be 32 and being told that you are going to live with migraines fro the rest of your life. A very sobering and humbling experience this has been. I still have a long way to go, but we see the light at the end of the tunnel. My wife is in the last year of school. she will work for a year or two before so goes after her BSN. she has been in school five years this next January. 

        Now I have always want a custom truck. Mostly a Dodge Ram Diesel that could pull a house. I have always wanted one. I still want one, Not much in life that will make that dream come true. I have to expect the reality of it that Kids will come first and so I will need a big Mormon hauler. I love my suburban, Maybe I am just selfish and want what I want. I don't know and I try not to answer. Maybe I can get into a K5 Blazer and fix it up for my hunting four-wheeling trips. Some days I wish a friend would say "hey I did a fundraiser for you and your family, Here ENJOY!" reality is that will never happen. I will go through life in the middle. not well known or like maybe. So what does it take to be me? Being Honest to all including myself is right up there near the top.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds