The End of a year

The End of the Year

At the end of every year we celebrate a birthday. My oldest was born on 12/31/1999. She is the sweetest child anyone can ask for. Yes we have our moments, but she is a good kid. She is capable of many things. Now to review of my year. My hair is longer, My body tired and depression is taking over my mind. I have no motivation and neither do many people in me.  My goals are the same each year as to be honest to my fellow man, and to cherish each day I awaken. My fear is that I will leave this earth and into a greater existence soon. I do not know the date now do I know my Lord Yes. Death I do not fear missing my children is what i fear. I fear that my pain will take my life. I fear that I will not leave anything for my children. I want to build a vehicle that my kids could use. not fight over. I am scared that if I write out a living will I will pass on to the next life. 

Now as I reach 40 I am thinking of my legacy of what people will remember me as? I am not worried about retirement or anything because I am already on disability I am more worried of what people will say after I am gone. Will the remember my temper, My heart, My loves? Not many things could I afford to do much of my money goes into the day to day life. I do not have much for luxuries but I can save a bit and then get what I want. Right now I am working on saving up for something to do Moab with. A Dodge Ram 1500 regular cab short bed. Solid axle front axle, Long arm front suspension, Deaver leafs in the rear. Rebuilt the Engine and Trans and re-gear both ends for off road performance. 

80% off-road 20% on-road. That I would be my rig. Maybe time for a Kickstarter campaign 

Thank you for Reading

Mr. Crossrds