The End of a year

The End of the Year

At the end of every year we celebrate a birthday. My oldest was born on 12/31/1999. She is the sweetest child anyone can ask for. Yes we have our moments, but she is a good kid. She is capable of many things. Now to review of my year. My hair is longer, My body tired and depression is taking over my mind. I have no motivation and neither do many people in me.  My goals are the same each year as to be honest to my fellow man, and to cherish each day I awaken. My fear is that I will leave this earth and into a greater existence soon. I do not know the date now do I know my Lord Yes. Death I do not fear missing my children is what i fear. I fear that my pain will take my life. I fear that I will not leave anything for my children. I want to build a vehicle that my kids could use. not fight over. I am scared that if I write out a living will I will pass on to the next life. 

Now as I reach 40 I am thinking of my legacy of what people will remember me as? I am not worried about retirement or anything because I am already on disability I am more worried of what people will say after I am gone. Will the remember my temper, My heart, My loves? Not many things could I afford to do much of my money goes into the day to day life. I do not have much for luxuries but I can save a bit and then get what I want. Right now I am working on saving up for something to do Moab with. A Dodge Ram 1500 regular cab short bed. Solid axle front axle, Long arm front suspension, Deaver leafs in the rear. Rebuilt the Engine and Trans and re-gear both ends for off road performance. 

80% off-road 20% on-road. That I would be my rig. Maybe time for a Kickstarter campaign 

Thank you for Reading

Mr. Crossrds

My life in Music.

My life in Music.

           How can Music be in ones life? Memories, That is how! Many memories are tied to songs. Songs that are released to this day can be tied to memories of years gone by. Tha Crossroads by Bone-Thugs and Harmony brings me to tears for those I have lost. That song was released in 1996 the same year I lost my brother. It talks about meeting at the Crossroad between Heaven and Earth. Many people go to that place and are met by people that they have lost years before. So every time I hear that song I think of my brother there waiting for me. He is always missed. I recently found a sister I thought didn't want anything to do with me. Found out it was other issues that were hurting that relationship. I have a brother that doesn't want anything to do with Family. A niece that has no respect for family or herself she has been on a path of entitlement (i deserve everything). She thinks that she shouldn't have to work for anything, It should be handed to her. Now maybe that is Mine and My brothers fault. We spoiled the crap out of her. Even if she says she doesn't remember it. Well I do, I have those memories and they are all tied to songs. It is time for family to leave the state of California and move away. To a more stable State. California is ruled by people that do not care about a persons self worth, Just about everyone being equal. Sorry people it doesn't work that way. Reason for social classes is for people to work towards something. If you want to be rich and not have to worry about money then make yourself better and hire able to what a corporation wants. You want to own your own business and make your own path, Then find the path that gets you to that point. I am not well "educated". But that does not mean I am not smart. One thing that many people do not know about me is my brain. I am able to fix things and ticker and remember that years later. I haven't driven a big rig in seven years but I know how to do it. I know how to read schematics and mechanical drawings. I always had great potential for the person I had worked with. I move fast inside a company and I learn fast. I am ideal employee for anyone. I will go out of my way to make sure your company comes second (sorry family first).

I can do any job I put myself in front of. the only thing that keep me from that is the chronic pain. So write now I have been working on becoming a better Father, Husband, and Son. I have put Faith, Jesus and My family first since I got sick. I do so in order to get the strength I need to make it through some days. My pain has been coming in harder and lasting longer. That means I spend more time just feeling crappy. I do not wish this on my worst enemy. I want my family to be proud of me. I do not like the "how can I help" looks I get. People do not ask me to go with them because of fear something will happen and not be able to do things.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Chronic Pain and Depression

Chronic Pain and Depression.

         They go together like a fly and poop! I suffer from both. I have had depression symptoms since I was little. I have been on medication of different kinds. Right now I am on cymbalta. It is for depression and helps with the chronic pain. I am admitting that some days it is hard to get out of bed because of the pain, but also days it is the depression. I do not care for either as the pain drags on for days I start to think of ending my life. I really do not what to end it, but feel it is the only way to make the pain stop. It is drastic measures to take but when you have a so much pain you feel it is the only way. I take precautions I make my wife hide my pain meds as i could easily take enough to end my life. I DO NOT WHAT THAT!

         I want to see my youngest get baptized, Married, and Grandchildren. I want to see my grandchildren when the time comes. I have a great thirst for living. So I just get those thoughts in my head I know it isn't me talking. It is a Monster in my head. I have to of them. I try to feed the little critter that leads me to righteousness. I feed it so my monster of anger, hate, and Death so it will shrink and not take over. I am so scared that one day that monster will take my life over and I will lose everything I have ever wanted. My wife and my kids are everything to me. I want them to be happy and not cry themselves to sleep as they worry for me and death. 

         When your daughter is doing poorly in school because she is worried and stressed about me. That is just backwards, She shouldn't worry about those things. She should be worried about homework, boys, and when she will have her next party. That is what a carefree teen is supposed to worry about. My health has got to the point that it is affecting more people then I ever could imagine. My parents are worried, Sisters, Brothers all worry about me. I like to stay under the radar. I do not think there isn't a person that loves me doesn't worry about me. 

          I feel their love everyday. I just hope and pray that they feel my love for them.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds.

Friends, Holidays, and Traditions

Friends, Holidays, and Traditions

           What are your Traditions. For many of us it is what our parents did. Well in this house we usually go to a parents house. This year was different with my health and wife's school schedule we just didn't want to go any where. So with parents aging and they just too tired to do the big dinners and such we are doing our own thing. This year as many before we were light on the gifts. Members from the community stepped up and gave us a porch full of presents for the family and kids. We were blessed I was touched by the spirit of our Lord and I knelt on my knees with tears running down my face and gave thanks for the many blessings I have received this year.

           Christmas on the 25th of December is a tradition that was started about 600 A.D. and was taken from the Pagan's and Heathen's (it was a celebration of the son god's rising). For most christian it is a celebration of Christs birth. So we celebrate it as well, after the evolution of this holiday it has become a celebration of his birth. Even if the day is not accurate it is what is celebrated. I am okay with this as long as I teach my kids that this is just a remembrance of him, not an actual birth date. 

            I try to strive on teaching my kids a diversity of beliefs. That is my goal that my children will question and ask the Lord for their own revelation.. I love this time of year even with it as hard as it is for me. I love you all and please be kind and rewind

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Faith and Life

Faith and Life

        This is a hard subject to write about, I like to keep my beliefs quiet. I do not like to express them out loud. Probably has to do with the fact that if I do share I am called many names, Homophobic, hypocritical, and many other things that are just hurtful. Why do I believe what I believe? Well because I prayed to our Heavenly father and received an answer to my prayer. So I believe what I believe because of an answer to my Prayer. Whether you have a belief in God or not does not give you right to bad mouth me because I do. I have been called a sheep because I go to church. I can think for myself! I can do things by myself. I am not a sheep I am the Shepard as I bring my small flock to and far all while I herd and teach them. 

         I believe in a modern prophet and modern Revelation to people on this earth. I believe that the prophet Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon. He did not write it! He translated it through the priesthood of Jesus Christ. That Jesus Christ and his apostles had. I know many people that have left the LDS church and more times then not it boils down to hurt feelings by someone in that ward. It isn't because they do not believe in the gospel, Just that someone over stepped their own beliefs and used that to strike someone down. Now this is not the true meaning of the teaching of Jesus Christ. Jesus taught us to love one another. Not to put each other down. We are taught through teaching as young children that Freedom to choose is the greatest gift God have given us. 

           Could you believe if we where forced to believe in God. As a people we would rebel. We are rebellious in nature, we question everything. Believe in the LDS faith we are encourage to question the beliefs and the ordnance's in the gospel teachings. We are told to do that so we can have a Revelation for our self of the truth. Plain and simple is the Lord wants you to decide on how you worship or believe in him. For without him your life would not have a purpose. For with out purpose you will wonder aimlessly on this earth.

Now I write these things as to be of my belief. You must decide your own path.

Thank you 

Mr. Crossrds

Am I still angry

Am I still angry?

           As I was thinking this morning I started to think I was still angry. So this post is going to explore my anger. First I am pissed off because of all my pain. It just doesn't stop constant pain, I have a mild headache at all time. I hear swishing in my ears, My heart aches everyday that I can not do things with my kids. I see the sadness in their eyes as i tell them "sorry I just don't feel well" I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THAT!!

           I just do not know why? Why? Lord I try my hardest to be faithful, but hard when I can not perform the way my heart desires. I grew up be a young man serving the people I love. I want to be able to serve my children in the way they deserve. I see my oldest cry as she just wants her "daddy" normal again. I spend most of my days in bed. I try real hard to get going. I cry as I want my parents close by so they can help. I have no family near me. The closest one is my oldest sister and she is two and half hours away! My brother is in Nebraska, Just a lousy twelve hours away! 

          Why? Why did he die? We had plans, We made a deal and he left me! Why did you take him? I never did anything wrong I just wanted to enjoy him a few more years. Why wasn't I able to come home and lay him to rest? Why do I sit here crying? Why won't my niece talk to me? I do I feel alone with eight brothers and sisters? Not to many talk to many anymore. I don't get calls from many in my family or even my in-laws. My brother is pretty regular on checking in with me. Many do not understand the things I go through. They have their own things to worry about and I am not one.

          I do not call many friends I do not like the word. Friends - I don't care for it. I prefer call you brothers and sisters, but for you to get into that circle you will let me vent and gripe. You can use me for your benefit as long as I can do the same. I try not to ask for help, but some times I need it. When I come asking for help it takes me a lot to do that. When I was first trying to get a grip on my health I was pulled to an attorney to apply for SSDI. I did not want this, but I'm glad I was taken there. It allowed me to take a step back and not worry about money or the stresses that come with that. 

         My wife takes care of the finances because I worry too much about it. she fills me in and let's me know that bills are paid. I sit and wish I could buy me a truck that I can customize. Now you see a 1996 dually here.

I see a truck that is slammed rolling on 18's and air ready to haul anything you put on it. A hopped up 454 ci Motor and beefy trans. I see something my kids can still be proud of because they helped me. Now the funny thing is I found this truck for sale on www.kslcars.com The owner of this truck and I have much in common he is a good man. I have really enjoyed our texts and such. Kind of weird, but cool as ****.

      Now you may ask what I would do something like that. Well if you have been reading I have a passion for the olive Osmond hearing fund. I would use it to haul gear and a trailer for their events It would be a rolling advertisement. I would drive again. You do not know how much I just want to drive again. To me it is a relief just out on the road. 

Well this blog post was defiantly all over the place I apologize for that.

Than you for taking the time to read this

Mr. Crossrds

The Holidays and fears

The Holidays and Fears.

          My brother died in November a few weeks before the holidays season starts. My sister got married right after Thanksgiving. The holidays are hard as we hang our stockings and always remember the ones who have gone. Now i am learning to trust in the Lord and have faith in seeing him again. I know with the deepest of certainty that I will see my brother once again in the heavens and glory of our Heavenly Father. This past Sunday my son was set apart as a second counselor for his deacons quorum. I was in the circle and I can feel my Grandparents, My brother, and My sister. Plus many of spirits that my son will have a hand in bringing unto the Lord.

          I was told as a child that I am destined for greatness. I have always felt that I downed played that. I feel my children are my greatest purpose on this earth. I am a responsible for the raising of my children. I take responsibility in teaching my children so that when they go out into the world they will be able to keep their eye to the glory of God. It is mine and my wife's responsibility to teach our children about sex, drugs, and respect. Many people nowadays leave that to teachers. Doing that puts the teacher into a difficult situation. The teacher has their own belief and could be teaching against that. All you that read this and have children remember if you teach your beliefs in your home then you won't have to worry about what is taught in a public setting. You and your spouse are responsible for that, not the SCHOOL!

          Now I have friends that don't believe in God or not a set religion. I do not understand that nor do I believe in it, but I respect that choice they have made. More people need to accept the fact that people have different beliefs, Sexual orientation, color, and just different. All I ask in return is that same acceptance from you. You would like me to accept you and your choices, but you will protest mine? I do not get that. I am supposed to accept you then why can you not accept me?

          Fears

           My fear is a great fear of my father burying me before he passes. Now with my chronic pain it puts me higher in the at risk for suicide column. Now I think it is natural order to be frightened by an unknown like death. What LDS members believe in a "afterlife" and by that and by faith I know that I shall have my family for all time and eternity. I will see my brother again. I will see our Lord once again. Just because I am LDS doesn't mean I am hard headed and won't value someone for their thoughts or opinion, I game with people of many faiths and beliefs. We can have discussions on many things from politics to what poop is good. We are a good bunch of guys, We can stand by each other and are far more then just gaming "buddies". 

           Fear is a strong emotion. Fear can cripple a man. Fear lives in the darkness and thrives on the darkness in every one's soul. Now you have a light and dark in yourself. You must have it in balance to be of greatness. A man that can balance those two will allow someone to be a Great and powerful Leader. You do not have it balanced you will shrivel and die. Balance in all things is what I believe brings the most peace in one's life. I write a blog to help me with my balance. It allows me to "vent" and get things out. I am a heart on sleeve type of guy. By that it can leave me exposed, but it also leaves me to being exposed to the good. My dearest friends are great they understand many things, and have lived in perils I will never experience. To me they are Rock stars. My brother (younger) is now 37 he is a great Father and even better husband. I plan on living for my children, my brothers, Sisters, Father, Mother, and My friends.

Thank you all for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Son

Son

          My son who is twelve years old. He is my treasure. He is my only son, He doesn't have any brothers. He has three sisters. I love all my children with all my heart. My son is well my son, we share so much in common. I know it isn't good to favor one child over the other, but I tend to lean towards him and my second daughter. 

           The day my son was born it was 121 degrees outside at 10 a.m. He was born on my Father's birthday. My son shares a name with me and my older brother. We are tight as tight can be. I know he will have some rough stuff coming up in his life, as he gets ready to go to high school. High school is a rough time in life. Trying to find yourself during that time is very difficult. People will tempt my kids with worldly pleasures, And my son being so handsome girls will be all over him. With him being the only "Linden" to carry on the last name he will need to have more then I did.

            I'm very proud with my children as they continue on into adulthood. My oldest is almost fourteen she is getting very difficult to handle with. My son is very mellow compared to her. He is willing to take the "backseat" so the girls won't fight him. He will be blessed for his time on this earth, He is going to be of up-most importance to the expansion of the "Lords" church. I believe that my child are my greatest thing I have done on this earth. They are the reason for staying alive. For not taking my own life. When I am in that dark place I think of my kids and how they will miss me. When I have been in bed for a few days i start to feel worthless I think of my kids, my wife. I don't want my father to bury another son. I love my family and I love Christ I am willing to live for him. He died for me so I can live for him.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Holidays

Holidays are among us!

Today is the 25th of November. Many sales are coming and going. Many people will come to your door bearing gifts. Christmas and Thanksgiving are here in a few days and less then a month. What is this season for what is the truth behind Christmas?

The date of December 25th comes from Rome and was a celebration of the Italic god, Saturn, and the rebirth of the sun god.
This was done long before the birth of Jesus.
It was noted by the pre-Christian Romans and other pagans, that daylight began to increase after December 22nd, when they assumed that the sun god died.
These ancients believed that the sun god rose from the dead three days later as the new-born and venerable sun.
Thus, they figured that to be the reason for increasing daylight.
This was a cause for much wild excitement and celebration. Gift giving and merriment filled the temples of ancient Rome, as sacred priests of Saturn, called dendrophori, carried wreaths of evergreen boughs in procession.
In Germany, the evergreen tree was used in worship and celebration of the yule god, also in observance of the resurrected sun god.
The evergreen tree was a symbol of the essence of life and was regarded as a phallic symbol in fertility worship.

So the date of Christmas wasn't a new holiday by any means. The only thing that Christ has in common with this holiday is by name and name only. We are told to give and accept peoples giving spirit and to remember Christ. If you need a Holiday to remember Christ then you do not have him in your line of sight. You do not need a religion or preacher telling you what you need to believe you have your heart. Your Heart will tell you between the right and wrong, Even if that line is moved either way. You are responsible for you and your choices you make  in your life. Whether you believe God came from the Heavens or the Planet Asgard you still believe in a higher being. Many believe that our country should be an atheist country. You may even be one of them. I respect that belief I don't understand it, but I respect it. You are free to believe in anything your Heart desires. Please accept that I believe in things also.

Remember this season may not have started out as a "christian" holiday, but it has become one. Please respect others beliefs during this holiday. Remember that we all share this world and everyone has the freedom and RIGHT to believe in their own way.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Love and Marriage.

Love and Marriage

         When your first married you are all about the physical attraction and emotion. I the first few years of a blooming relationship it is fine. If that is all that is in the relationship is built on after a few years it will crumble.

As you grow into a marriage it takes allot of work. It is a give on both sides of the relationship. My wife and I met and got married in nine weeks. We were told that we would not last longer then three months. We have been married for fifteen years. Many people believe that marriage is just a peace of paper, Now you can disagree with me or not, but I believe that marriage is a strong promise between two people and God.
In the United States there is a war in the definition of marriage. I am not going to get all religious or political was just stating a fact.
         I love being married it has saved me from killing myself, going crazy and ending up in a Nuthouse. We have made our family to six people plus two pets. We have been to the depths of hell and risen like a beautiful rose. My wife is the cornerstone of this family. Having a strong cornerstone is Key. You can not build a house without a strong foundation and cornerstone. You need those things for a marriage to last, many people thing that marriage is a throw away item these days. I do not believe that it is a great contract between two hearts.
Thank You for Reading,
Mr. Crossrds

Friends

Friends

What is a Friend? 

To me a friend is someone that I can trust. I can trust that they will not hold anything back when it concerns our friendship. I take a friendship very serious. I cherish my friendships that I have gained over the years. My best friend is My wife. She is my friend I can tell her everything. I mean Everything. we are both very open and we discuss most everything. Purchases, Gaming, and life is always discussed freely. I love her with all my heart. I will do anything to protect her and my family. My friends get the same treatment. I will do anything to protect them. My help may just be some harsh words or just a shoulder to cry on. 

Love many of my friends

Thank You for reading.

Mr. Crossrds

Life and Dreams

Life and Dreams

You know as you grow you set new goals and new dreams. Life is short. Plain and simple. If you plan for the future, when a surprise comes you will be prepared.

I think there are somethings you can never prepare yourself for! Like a sudden death, it is a real rough situation. I know friends and family that have gone through it and it is rough. Planning for your future, Happens not only in your pocket book, but also in your mind. If you can not see past a few months then you can not plan. 

This entry is short.

From a swollen head

Mr. Crossrds

November 4th 1996

November 4th 1996

    That day will live infamy for the Lundeen family. That morning I received a call from my Mother. I was serving in Detroit Lakes MN. I was on my Mission and during that time family phone calls are very limited. So hearing my Mother's voice on the phone was unexpected, but I was cautious. My Mother said "Grady - Something happened, I replied Oh Grandma Ne-Ne passed? No it is your Brother Greg. What? No! As I fell to my knees and cried. I did not believe it. It was not possible, this was my brother. I was supposed to be planning a road trip with him. He is my hero, He is my Brother. We were supposed to grow old together.

    Now it has been 17 years since that date caused pain for everyone. Now I didn't take it very well. I went kind of off the deep end. I returned home from my mission broken lost and confused. I moved to Utah and tried to get on with my life. I was never fully content with what I was doing. I finally met my wife, she filled a void. She saved my life. She led me back to the arms of my Lord.

     I miss him, but I  know I will see him again, after my time on this mortal world is over. 17 years is a lifetime ago, but it was a deep love for him as my other brothers. We shared a deep relationships with my cousin. We spent many of days and nights with each other. I miss my cousin also, He is far away in Germany. He is a great Father and Friend. I love the times we get to chat, It is far in between the conversations. 

     My family is tighter then most, My father and I talk a few times a week. i also talk to my brother once or twice a week. For the most part we will drop everything to help. We are spread across the united states. I cherish my family and the family I have made with my wife. We are great together and work hard to keep our focus on Jesus Christ. We love each other, I love my in-laws and cherish them. I love my dear friends I have made.

     Thank you all that for the love you have shown my family. Thank you for your hard dedication to many years of love and care. I love you all.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Darkness of Depression

Darkness of Depression

      Now allot of people deal with depression but people that don't have a hard time understanding it. I suffer it for two reasons

1: I have dealt with depression my whole life.

2: Chronic pain triggers episodes.

      How do I battle it. Well i try to keep busy with ideas and thoughts. I study things like changes in transportation. I read up on what is new in the RC crawling world, and the off-road world. I keep my kids on task and try to keep a house in order. Finally I play Games. about 3-4 hours most days not everyday, but most days. For me it is the most therapeutic for others it is a waste of time. I enjoy friendships I have. They are busy with their personal lives and work that i don't see them as often as I would care for. 

At times I feel alone in a house full of people. It isn't any one's fault it is a chemical balance problem. I eat very irregular but still gain weight. 

       I try very hard to lose the weight, but when it causes you pain to go for walks and such the motivation is just not there. Now i am hoping to get back on Some medication soon and I will be back in my lab with music going and building something. I love to work with my hands. I have always loved working with my hands. 

      By far the greatest things I have done has been with my hands, Just ask my wife. I am not the smartest man out there but I am no idiot and resent the fact that some people think that is the case since I stay at home. That is not the case I love to learn. I love to ask questions and learn about many different things. My experience in life has greatly helped my knowledge base. I know more then I let on.

       Yes I ramble. But I think outside the box and I am not afraid to say how I feel at the moment. It has caused a few ripples in my life, but no regrets. 

Thank you for reading 

Mr. Crossrds.

Today

Today (Fifteen Years ago) I Married My Best Friend

I married a woman that was everything I never knew I wanted. This dear woman has been through hell and always stayed by my side. Mrs Crossrds and I have been through many thing in the last fifteen years. The year was 1998 in an fall setting. The day was a beautiful day. I remember our friends and family there. Even an upset father-in-law. We got married on opening day of the deer hunt. I remember looking across the alter at a bride that will make me a great man. 

         We are live in Ephraim, Utah. My wife goes to school full-time at Snow College, works for a home health firm. I stay at home and try to take care of the house and children. Fifteen years ago I was working and My wife was working. When she got pregnant with our first child, We made the decision that I would work and bring home the bacon, she would take care of raising the kids. Now fifteen years later our roles have changed and I stay at home and try to take care of things. Very hard not to wonder if we had let the stress of chronic pain drive us apart. It almost happened in the early years of this. We stuck together! Marriage is very hard work it isn't for the faint of heart. Most of my friends have been through at least one divorce. I am glad that I haven't been through that. We have been through enough shit we don't need to pile on more.

         My love is eternal. She is my everything, Makes me want to be better. I try very hard to do everything and help her get through studies. I am not the best husband but I try. I have a mouth that can shame a sailor (thanks Grandma W). I love you so much wife. you make me whole. I think of you as my super hero. I know you want to give me everything. Hunny you have.

Thank You For reading

Mr. Crossrds.

A wedding shared by all

A Wedding Shared By All

Yesterday I attended a wedding reception for one of my best friends. I am not a guy that loves the fact that they have a famous name and are pretty famous in their own right. I love them and expect nothing in return. Now don't get me wrong I love going to concerts, Helping with the charity. I would lay down on a knife to make them happy, and to help them succeed in their endeavours. 

The wedding reception was great was able to visit with old friends and to meet some new one's. I am really blessed to have the family in my life. I have connected with each of them that live near me. To them I am a Rock star. For me this is a friendship with no expectations on either side. We work together to garner our friendship with pure love. I love hearing stories of their youth, growing up in the sidelight of fame.

Not too many things put a pressure on me to be a better person.(besides my Wife).

Watching a friend marry his best friend for all time and eternity. I was feeling the pain early in the evening and could not stay for long. The drive was about 2 hours and it was rough on me physically, but worth every minute of pain I feel. I got to meet his best friend and can't wait for time to become friends with both of them.

I am glad to have a friendship that helps both of us grow and I hope that is what I am doing. I love you all that read my blog. You make me to be a better man.

Thank you for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Today is the New beginning

Today is the New Beginning.

We wake everyday to a new day. The world hasn't been taken over by zombies or the undead roaming the earth. I wake up every morning with a hangover, not knowing if I will be able to do the chores I need to get done. I wake to an existence that is dire in most cases. I have four children to take care of. We live in a meager salary and wait like rabid dogs for the next check. Now I am on SSDI and it is used in allot of political games. It puts undo stress on our lives not knowing if we will get a check next month. Why is it that the President of the United States use it to get their way. For me stress equals more pain. That can equal seizures. So Mister President why cause undo pain to those that need your assistance the most. Congress why are you doing the same. Come to the table and make things work. Negotiating equals both sides feeling screwed.

You know I try not to get to political in my blog but it is today. I am calling all my friends and family to copy and paste this and post on their wall and send to their respected congressmen or woman. This doesn't hurt them they get a paycheck. This Shutdown is nothing more then a pissing contest. The Republicans and Democrats have ruined what was a great country. We have become equal among other nations, we are no longer a power that is looked to for guidance. We have fought wars for corporate riches. The great evil of money is what rules in DC. Nothing more nothing less, If you have money you can be part of the system. You can have riches beyond your dreams. You just need to lay down and let things become a greater nation. That is all Bullshit. They want a larger central government and smaller state rights. They are starting with Bailout to states then cities. We bail you out you now fall in line. I am saying that we need a Third party to rise up and take the Raine's. Now here is an idea DO NOT VOTE FOR INCUMBENT! Fire everyone that is coming up for election in 2014. they haven't done the job they were hired to do. Fire them. If the new guy is Dem, Or Rep. it doesn't matter. it just shows that WE are tired of your bull and you are fired.

Thanks for reading

Mr. Crossrds

A weekend Of Love and Family

A Weekend of Love and Family

This weekend was General Conference for the Latter-Day Saints. I had the pleasure of taking my son to Priesthood session. This was his first time to here messages from the Leaders of the LDS church. My Father and Father-n-Law attended with us. I got a dizzy spell while waiting in line outside. My Father gave me his cane and the Ushers saw my distress and got a wheelchair for me. They got us into a great spot on the main floor. We listened to the wonderful talks, My son stayed awake and took in what it truly was to be a priesthood holder.

Now we spent sometime listening to the words that instruct us to take our gift far more serious then we might. They also talked about the Darkness of Depression and Mental illnesses. I suffer from depression bouts that I try to fight, Sometimes I win sometimes I don't. My son has always sticks by my side even when I am harsher with hid discipline then my daughters.

My son,(middle)My Father,(left),My Father-N-Law(right)

Me and My son.

Now I am in bed dealing with a migraine. It is really worth the pain to enjoy the small moments I have left.

Thank you 

Mr. Crossrds

Handling your responsibilities

Handling your responsibilities

        So I am a Man, I am a Husband, I am a father, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. What are my responsibilities from those jobs. 

        1: I am a Man. What does that mean? To me it means that I have a responsibility to take care of those that have been put in my charge. Whether they are my children or children put in my care by my job or Calling in the Church. Now I have taken care of my children I have a fierce hand and strict rules for upbringing them. They follow my rules and they find freedom in life. They are rewarded for hard working.

       2: I am a Husband. What is it to be a husband. For me it is the greatest of challenges in my life. It is hard work, It is frustrating, It is very mind-blowing difficulty. It is also the greatest of all rewards in this life and the next. That is why I believe that marriage should be taken seriously by the two partners. You cannot get married just to have sex (very common in Utah) By basing your marriage on sex you have a weak foundation. You marry your best friend and base your love on your friendship will give you a marriage that is strong and can handle anything thrown at it.

       3: I am a father. Being a father means I have great responsibility to raise my child to be productive in any society. To raise my child to believe in Christ our Lord. To keep the Holy Ghost in my household. I make my house a place of serenity of a crazy world. My kids are safe in my home, and as their father I will make their home safe. They learn to get along with each other. They stand by each other outside of this home. They fight within these walls only to stand by each other as a power greater then anything out in the world. That is what a Father does. Many of men can become a DAD but it take a true MAN to be a FATHER.

       4: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Now to be a Member of the LDS church does not take much effort to become one. It does take plenty of effort to become a member that believes what has been taught by the leaders and teachers on every Sunday. I do Believe in the lessons that are taught. Now not to say that their are people that read between the lines so that it benefits them. That is what is wrong with most large organisations of this world.

        One this weekend the LDS members gather around the world to here our Prophet speak just like times of old. Now they can watch on TV the days wise words are now live. It is a great day in modern life to here words inspired by Jesus Christ and Our Heavenly Father. He leads my everyday life. I do need to thank him more often and need to be on my knees praising him and loving his words of wisdom.

Thank You for reading

Mr. Crossrds

Mormon Faith and the Priesthood

Mormon Faith and the Priesthood

             Yesterday I was excited and told friends that I was taking my twelve year old son to the Priesthood Session on Saturday evening. He replied "what?" Really I had no answer. So i started to think this morning that this should be a good subject for me today.

              So I went to Mormon.org to get answers:

        The priesthood is the authority to act in God’s name. The same priesthood authority that existed in the original Church established by Jesus Christ exists in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints today. The Church is directed and led through this authority.

All male members of the Church who are prepared receive the priesthood in order to help lead the Church and serve Heavenly Father’s children. A man with the priesthood might serve in some of the following ways:

• Leading congregations of the Church
• Performing the ordinances of the Church, such as baptism
• Blessing those who are sick

God expects those who hold this sacred priesthood authority to follow the example of Jesus Christ and serve with love, gentleness, and kindness.

               

                 So that is what it says on Mormon.org. Now what does it mean to me? I have had the gift since I was twelve. That will be twenty-six years my last birthday. I use the Priesthood to direct my life. I teach my son how to use it, I teach my Daughters that they should marry worthy men with the Priesthood. Now am I holding my gift over my wife? Am I treating her like a second class citizen? I don't think so I believe that a woman can use the Priesthood through her Worthy Husband to create a safe environment for their family.

                 “The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.” - Gordon B. Hinckley

                  That is what I believe also. I believe that a man and woman married are a team. LDS members believe in eternal marriages. When we are married for time and eternity our lives are long and for all time. One day I will be able to see the beginning and the end of my life and will hug my dear Lord as he has taking a sinner and forgave him. My family is my first Love only second to my love for Christ. I have lived to make Christ and I feel that we together have raised up against the demons that follow us and struck them down. I will fight for my children to join me in the eternities. After I leave this earth and people shed a tear for me. I will rise with the Lord on the Second coming to teach all those who willing to learn. I believe that I am a child of God, I have the same Priesthood as Christ and his apostles. I will teach any who asks. I believe in Modern Day Prophets as time of the bible. I do not think that God or his Son would leave us long with out guidance and inspiration to lead a young man to get on his knees and ask Heavenly Father what church is true. The time was right in the middle of HUGE expansions and break offs of many churches in the "new World" and over in the "old World". I am Grady Lundeen and I have a very different outlook on life then many. I see time as a fleeting pass. I can see a future of unrest and war. I see that when I am old and on my bed I will pass and wait for my companion to return to my side. I see my life as a short moment in time. I can tell you with conviction in my heart that A church is just a building with out the priesthood as laid down my Jesus Christ. You have come to a blog post of my beliefs. I am told that I need to accept you because you like the same sex, Are different color, or a different religion. 

                This coming weekend The LDS people will have their annual Conference were we will get instruction from our leaders for our everyday life. Outside the building their will be people protesting and screaming at us that we do not believe in Christ. I can tell you that we Believe in Christ, In the Bible, and The Book Of Mormon as words of God through his Prophets. All I ask who read this is to think and ask a member of the LDS faith as to what they believe. We are not alone in our beliefs but treated as we are.

Thank you For Reading

Mr. Crossrds

Welcome to Moab, Utah.36

Welcome to Moab, Utah

We set up camp at Ken's Lake, Which is about 10 miles south of town. Great camping area for dry camping.

 Had a very enjoyable time meeting new people and enjoying some trail riding, Now for people that see all the crazy rigs on TV and YouTube. You do not need a very extreme vehicle. The biggest tire size we had was 35 inch. Most guys running 32 or less. There is plenty of things to do with a stock jeep, VS 100,000 $ Jeep. So you can come with a very capable stock Wrangler and have plenty to do.

 More Base camp time.

 Newspaper rock

 Newspaper Rock

 Top of elephant hill

Getting ready to head down the backside.

Just look at the marker time to go DOWN!!

 Look at that country, Can't beat Utah

Blue Sky. Lovely day

 More Country

 Tight quarters

 You can't hike this.

 Moab, Utah brings even guys from Delaware.

 Some Hand prints

 The most fun at 1 mph you will ever have.

Time to head on back

Oops trail side repair.

 At the base of elephant hill airing up.

 Cowboy/Rustler hangout?

 Uranium Arch

 How can you not love this?

 A little obstacle One JK up.

 Number 2 a TJ up

 Time for a group picture

 There all the Jeeps, A Older YJ, 2 Cherokees, a JK, and 2 TJ's

Some Wipe out hill

Another one down.

There you go my trip to Moab 2 days of trail Riding now Pay for it with 2 days in bed. So worth any amount of pain. this was awesome. Thank you to all the guys for making me feel like one of them.
Thank you for reading Mr. Crossrds